Lately I’ve been struggling with questions. So many questions. I can get on some serious tangents when I get to thinking about the incredibly vast universe, unpredictable life, the greater purpose to this and that, rhymes and reasons. I feel like a little kid, looking around at the world and finding too many unknowns. Every answer leads to three more new questions. “But why, though? But WHY???”
It’s become a problem. Some days I just want to know everything, I want to put two and two together, I want it all to be solved so that I can put those questions to rest forever and move on. I want to understand everything that God is doing, every end result, every connection, every meaning.
But I can’t know everything, I can’t get into the mind of God and figure everything out. I just have to trust Him. I have to believe that He is going to reveal anything and everything to me that He chooses to reveal. And it’s just not my purpose to ascertain His motives and every detail of His plans.
Do you not know? Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.
No one can comprehend what goes on under the sun. Despite all his efforts to search it out, man cannot discover its meaning. Even if a wise man claims he knows, he cannot really comprehend it.
To calm my puzzled mind, I’ve begun to recite a modified version of the famous Serenity Prayer. I love this prayer as it stands; There’s a reason recovery groups use it all over the world and I think it really puts things back into perspective.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
I’m realizing that this concept can be applied in all different ways, and lately I’ve been using this little prayer for my incessant, insufferable ponderings:
God, grant me the serenity to accept that there are questions of this life that I will never know the answers to, [grant me] the inquisitiveness and stamina to be always be hungry to learn what You have given to us in Your Word, and the wisdom to know the difference between the two.
OK, so it doesn’t quite roll off the tongue the same way. But it’s a concept that’s really helping me realize that I need to take a step back and keep my mind chatter in check.
Because there are a million unanswered questions in this life. There are so many things I will never be able to comprehend, learn, or even begin to understand. And that’s okay, because it’s all part of God’s plan. I won’t feel slighted and turn away from God because He isn’t telling me the things I think I need to know. I won’t let my frustrated, unsatisfied brain stand in the way of the relationship with my Heavenly Father. The more questions I have and the more concepts I run into that I don’t understand, I will go to Him. He alone knows the answers; He alone has the world in His hands.
And I can eagerly delve into His living Word and have faith that He has equipped me with exactly what I do need to know.
The secret things belong to the Lord our God, but the things revealed belong to us and to our children forever…
You are the source of life and I can’t be left behind
No one else will do and I will take hold of you.
I need You Jesus, to come to my rescue,
Where else can I go?
There’s no other name by which I am saved,
Capture me with grace, I will follow you.