being brave

It is Thanksgiving. I am 26 1/2 years old today.

I typically don’t celebrate or even notice my half birthdays, but I was getting ready this morning, and thinking, and, what do you know. I have six more months to be 26, and then I’m 27.

For some reason, the concept of ‘time’ has really been rampant in my life lately. I am not in a quarter-life crisis per se, but I have had frequent thoughts about being 26. Being so close to thirty. (Feeling so much closer to 20, or 15 for that matter). And after having been in somewhat of a rut for the past two years, dealing with some perplexing health issues that I am finally getting some answers about, I have this feeling that God is really trying to wake me up. Shake me free from eat/work/sleep/trudge/repeat. Being extremely tired and not feeling well coupled with days of depression and anxiety is a recipe for some low-energy pity parties for me. More trudging. Hardly noticing anything around me, just going through the motions. In the back of my mind, thinking about THIS place where I get so much joy and fulfillment from writing and discovering things that God is saying to me.

So just now, when I went to login and couldn’t remember the login and password, it was confirmed to me that this is no longer acceptable. It is no longer acceptable to forgo this well of joy and passion that is available to me, from doing what I really honestly believe I was made to do. And it’s no longer acceptable to make excuses to let time go by without truly living.

It’s really easy to fall into a pattern of living like an animal–waking up to get my basic needs met and moving on to the next day, which turns into a hundred more in the blink of an eye. And, while it has been hard because having no energy and being in pain is terrible and frustrating, this life is way too short to put off really living. God calls us to something more. The Almighty, all-knowing God of this universe, actually wants to involve me in what He is doing in the world. How could I ever, EVER, squander that?

I am finishing this book called Let’s All Be Brave, by Annie Downs. She is really cute and honest, and it’s one of those books that make you feel like you’ve just sat down with a friend to have coffee for a couple hundred pages. It is a good read, and it is exactly what you think it may be: a call to be brave, and take a step forward, even when it’s scary, which it often is.

There is no better day than today, a day to reflect upon what we’ve been given, to declare that I am ready to be brave. God actually formed me in my mother’s womb, to do the things that He has set apart for me to do. Maybe those things are huge, maybe they are seemingly insignificant, but they are mine. God gives me the strength to do anything. My life is His, and therefore it isn’t mine to waste, no matter how good I tell myself my excuses are. The fact is, I don’t have time not to be brave. None of us does. So here’s to really living these precious lives we’ve been given.

Happy Thanksgiving!

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